Know Your Trainer: Buyers Guide to Personal Training

Knowing what your trainer is good at and capable of is almost as important as knowing your own goals. Like my mission statement says, the fitness industry is flooded with a ton of junk. Sadly a lot of that falls onto trainers too. Now everyone and their mother (literally in some cases) think they're trainers almost as much as girls who take pics of themselves on facebook call themselves models. But back to the point, there's ALOT of trainers, and most fall into categories. If your a trainer, read over them and see which one you fall into for giggles and if your a client point out which ones you've seen at your gym. Here we go;


The Noob: New, excited, just a ball of energy. Usually just getting into training through a career change or some kind of life changing situation that made them want to try it out. While all the energy is great, they usually lack knowledge and experience to back it up BUT the good ones are willing to learn which is why companies usually go after them and try to mold them into little sales/training robots lol Most bad Noob trainers expect to make crazy bank right out of the gate and are pissed off when they figure out that it’s a business like any other, and will take time to develop. They come and go like revolving doors with some becoming pretty good in the long run.

The Natural: This is most trainers, especially women trainers. Always have been skinny or decently in shape, had a 6 pac since they came out the womb and one night a friend at a party one day goes "omg your body is amazing, you need to teach me how" The problem here is some of these people, while in shape themselves, they don't know a thing about how they got there. Where its genetics or just natural habits, some struggle to pass that same gift on to other people and tend to get exposed rather fast. Looking nice in a trainer shirt only gets you so far.

The Brain: These are your book smart trainers who can quote the NASM book to you word for word. While they don't often pass the "physical looks test" they make up for it by reading EVERY training book in the world and blow your mind during sessions with big words on how your "Myofascial threshold needs to be quantified for maximum brachial functionality." I made that sentence up so don't hit me up with emails saying I just said something that didn't make sense please, lol. But you get my point, sure they can be knowledgeable but most clients don't want someone to train them who a)doesn't look like the clients goal image, b)doesn't seem to follow their own advice, c)makes them feel dumb with extensive doctor terms. Remember you're body is your business card and you need "under the bar" experience before telling people what works best "theoretically"

The Best Friend: This is the trainer who you become so close with that you talk about everything. Now as a trainer, sure your going to hear peoples life stories and be a therapist just as much as you are a health specialist. This trainer brings their personal life to work and puts it on full display. Crying in public is common, and occasionally just plain funny. They may have loud phone conversations with their significant other, with whom they have been having “problems” with for the past, well, ever, and they will talk non-stop about themselves and what may be holding them back with all their clients all day long. The client may want to ask a question about what kind of foods they should be eating to lose weight, but that is simply an opening for this trainer to tell them all about what they did on the weekend and how it didn’t work out well for them. As a result, they typically won’t renew clients much. Well, that, and the fact that their programs look like they were a third priority in the day.

The One Trick Pony: Another common one, the trainer who is good at one thing or has one cool exercise that you see him doing over and over with every single client. As a trainer your supposed to have variety, so if your doing the same workout with every client..realize your lacking. With this trainer anyone who tries to argue a specific point with them about the benefits of another method of training had better be ready for a battle, because they will throw down with both guns blazing on why their form of training is the best in the world for everything, all ways, period. BOOM!
These trainers will tend to train their clients in the same way, regardless of the goals or limitations. Yes, I’m sure doing snatches and kips are great, but they probably aren’t right for your client fresh out of ACL rehab and who has localized swelling, but what do I know? I guess they really DO need to push full ROM out of their knee today. Just tell them to spray some Icy Hot on it tonight and it will be good as new for tomorrow’s workout. BOOM! Regard me

The Meat Head: We alllll know these trainers. Their shirt size is a XXL but they request the S/M, Can be seen walking around on their off time only carrying a weight belt and a milk jug full of some orange/pink liquid. This is the dude who knows so little about training that he thinks he knows everything. A sample session from him goes something like this: "Uh, Okay, today we’re gonna train your lats, then your rhomboids, and then we’re gonna train your back." Add the fact that they view continuing education of any kind as a waste of time because “Bro I lift heavy, Why would i need to do scap retractions.” They spend most of their time flexing in the mirror rather than checking to make sure their client isn’t dropping a deuce trying to crank out leg extensions to failure and full-range crunches right before doing some max weight dead lifts. Think Jersey Shore, but with basic certification. They get their training technique pointers from a Jillian Michael's dvd in the break room.

The Zen Master:
This trainer insists that every exercise be as highly functional as possible, which means standing on one foot on a bosu while pulling on an elastic and curling a dumbbell simultaneously while all the while being asked “can you feel it working??” The thought of lifting heavy makes this trainer shudder, seeing as how there’s no way it could possibly create any ”real-world” strength gains. Oh, and along that same argument, I just pooped a chicken. This trainer shudders at lifting anything heavier than 20 pounds, and thinks anything less than 15 reps will turn them into a bulky and muscle-bound conan extra.Their clients are able to easily converse throughout the entire session because their heart rate isn’t going above 50% of their max, which means they will also develop tendinitis everywhere while trying to train for their marathons with nothing but long slow distance training.


The "ONE":
This trainer has taken it upon themselves to be the end-all be-all of training, and has developed their own “method” of training that contains secrets that no one else should be able to figure out because they are so smart and obviously better than everyone else. The downside is that everything they say is riddled with so many holes of physiological and anatomical logic that every trainer who has ever read a book on exercise physiology pretty much calls them out every chance they get.
Does this phase the Expert? Quite the contrary. They will continue to extol the virtues of their training, and continue to refer to themselves as an expert, even though not even doctors with 30 years of experience will have the cojones to call themselves experts in their field. Why do you think they call it a practice?

and finally.....

The GREAT trainer (aka ME.. just kidding...or am I? buy a session and find out)
All kidding aside, every trainer has the potential to be the good trainer if they wanted to. Keyword IF. It only really takes alittle dedication and constantly being willing to learn. It doesn't matter if your brand new or a grizzled vet, you didn't invent the wheel and theres always more out there you can learn or add. Fitness trends, just like food health, are always changing. One day an article will say something will be the death of you if you do it. Another day that same magazine will have a article saying that SAME exercise is the fountain of youth. So as a trainer you have to constantly be evolving and learning your craft more and more. And even when you do know a lot, be willing to accept that theres still more. Unless your the Steven Hawkins of training, theres always going to be something new to add to your tool box. Also, take your clients needs and goals into consideration because they're the ones who are paying your bills. Now that doesn't mean give in completely, to the point that you're wasting their time, but as a educated trainer you should be able to understand their goals and let them THINK you're doing it their way and still set them on the right track. In, short a GREAT trainer is a combination of all the other trainers listed minus the negatives. So there, you have it, that's your new goal, be Great.

Honorable Mention: The Sales guy, The Grizzled Vet, The Group Teacher, The Flirt, Captain Feely Hands etc...

If you think of one I left out or feel like writing up a description, send it to me and I'll add it to the PART 2 section.
The important thing is to be able, at any moment, to sacrifice what we are for what we can become.